So I knew it involved a pool of warm seawater. And some massage. But what I didn’t know, was how good those massage jets actually were. Who doesn’t have back issues? I for one have suffered with a bad back for twenty years. It’s worse some times than others, but it never really goes away. Surely a hydro jet won’t make any difference. But I was wrong about that.
Thirty-five massage jets work on our bodies for two whole hours. Each of them offers a slightly different kind of splash, squirt and massage: there are gentle, relaxing jets at one extreme, and relentlessly firm jets that attack your muscles at the other…those are my faves. It’s as though the entire fire brigade is firing hoses on your back.
I strike up a strong friendship with a station whereby four hard jets target the neck, back and upper arms simultaneously. After five minutes of high-speed, deep-tissue massage, I sing to myself in my head, gleefully: “The two of us, we are close friends, you and I; thick as thieves. We will remain together for the rest of time. Until the age of 100 and beyond.” I stay there for a quarter of an hour, letting it pellet my back and feeling intensely content.
During the first circuit, the only jets we notice are above water. We thought that people were just taking a few moments to relax here after all the saltwater abuse. But when the second circuit started, it became apparent that under the water, there was a whole feast of massages for the feet, legs and lower back. With a bit of manoeuvring, you could target any given part of the body – from top to bottom. This Jacuzzi just got better and better.
After two hours, the salt water had begun to irritate my eyes somewhat. So off we went for some fango mud therapy: also a first for me. The mini paper thong I get causes me some concern. Luckily, it is sufficiently stretchy. And if I can wear one, anyone can. I fail to suppress my giggles as I overhear my hubby muttering to himself in the adjacent cubicle. But he too eventually gives in to the thong. Shame we aren’t in the same room; laughing is healthy too, right?
The Thalasso therapist smears a thick layer of warm mud all over my body. She then mummifies me with layers of plastic, towels and a thick blanket. Here, I lay for 15 minutes, dozing. The mud gets even warmer. My eyes get heavier. The time passes in what seems a split second. Time to unwrap and rinse off. Which is trickier than you’d think, with all that thick mud. But underneath, my skin is silky soft. Even hubby is a raving fan – despite the thong.
We finish the day with a relaxing massage. We feel cleansed and relaxed. There’s no doubt in our minds, we will be doing this again. My other half isn’t much of a sauna fan, but with this, he can’t stop talking about it all holiday. And so Thalasso has two new converts.